plz talk dirty to me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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