my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
