Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
