party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
