My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm bleeding and have questions
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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