Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
