as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
