Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
