he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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