that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
