What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
