3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
