I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
