i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
