i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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