yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
