Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
