I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Randomize