Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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