I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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