I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
