I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
