Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
