I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Panties = found
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
