whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
