so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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