Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
