Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
