We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
