You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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