every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
