I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
