I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
