just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we're so committed to being not committed
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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