Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
