What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
