I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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