You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
