ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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