I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
3pm strippers are depressing
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
