id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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