Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
