So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
