We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
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im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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