At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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