god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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