i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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