I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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