just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
