They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
