everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
