just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
