jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
