So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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