is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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