you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
