You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
