You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
