Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
