if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
wow bdsm is so cute
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