turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Enjoy the penises
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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