Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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