No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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